Celebrity Zone...

Monday, June 25, 2007

For those innocents reading this, hoping to fully understand these three new posters for Good Luck Chuck, let me explain a few commonly held notions about sexual imagery.

1. Practically anything remotely dowel shaped can be thought of as a penis. If said phallus drips a white fluid and is licked, the imagery is heightened, even if the object barely resembles the shape of a penis whatsoever.

2. If a guy is shirtless and smiling, and you can see a head peeking out from his crotch, that man is almost certainly receiving oral sex.

3. I guess if you put a hole in a grapefruit, you can have sex with it? This one kind of lost me.

These descriptions will make more sense if you look at the other posters, under the cut.

Rachel Bilson

Rachel Bilson - Jack Chuck Photoshoot For InStyle -MV

Marisa Miller gets her bikini on

Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller was spotted in a bikini for some random photo shoot on the beach. And in case you're wondering, Marisa Miller in a bikini is 100% the absolute most important news ever. The moon landing? Yeah, that was pretty important I guess, but compared to this it might as well have been about the time I had cereal for breakfast.

Paola Perego

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Jorja Fox - Andrew Southam Photoshoot -MV

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Halle Berry looking better

Lindsay Lohan: Bikini Biker

Well, I've got to hand it to Lindsay Lohan. She's really making the most of her newly extended stay in rehab. I'm sure that biking around the beach in a bikini is one of the Promises Center's keys to getting their patients through their drug and alcohol dependence. I mean, who doesn't agree that three-wheel bikes are the cornerstone of recovery.

Now, I haven't been to rehab myself, but I'm pretty sure that an important part of going to rehab is actually going to rehab, not going to the beach. Problem is, rehab is all secluded and shuttered away, and no matter how much you parade around half naked, it's really hard for those paparazzi to take clear pictures of you in a bikini.

The beach, on the other hand, is really good for that. Oh, and Lindsay, stop trying to "hide" behind that hat. We'd recognize those breats anywhere.