Victoria Beckham - Photoshoot At The Louvre Pyramides In Paris - Oct 2007

Victoria Beckham posed outside the Louvre in Paris wearing what appear to be shoulder pads and a hoochie outfit complete with hard nips. And when I say shoulder pads, I don't mean like the shoulder inserts from the 80's, I mean like the ones they use in the NFL. My penis and I are confused. Is she making a statement that says she’s into hard lovin’ but is responsible and wears proper safety gear? Or did I miss some sort of weird, slutty European football game? I don’t know whether to be turned on or throw a tailgate party. I got it! I’ll make some nachos and hire a stripper. Wow, I’m like MacGyver!

Maria Bello

Annelyse Schoenberger - Levis Ads

Sammy Winward Unknown Photoshoot

Hilary Swank - Matthew Rolston Photoshoot -MV

Sofia Vergara - Candids, Il Pistaio Restaurant, Beverly Hills, CA, October

Christina Aloupi - Nitro Editorial

Lindsay Lohan picks a pumpkin

Lindsay Lohan did the strangest thing I’ve ever seen her do. She picked a pumpkin for Halloween like a normal person. I think I need to lie down. Ok! Magazine reports:-

The 21-year-old, who has been enjoying an extended stay at an Cirque Lodge rehab clinic in Sundance, Utah, following her arrest this summer, ventured out to a pumpkin patch in nearby Orem on Monday. "She seems happier," one local, who has seen La Lohan out and about in the area, tells OK!. "I think a lot of people around here are really pushing for her to get better."

-- So the pumpkin isn’t filled with booze or cocaine or anything? No? Lindsay just wants it for decorative purposes as is customary for the fall season? I’m freaking out here, man. I have to be in some sort of alternate dimension. Nothing makes sense anymore. Next you’ll tell me the sky is green, cows say “quack” and Paris Hilton is a nuclear physicist. Someone get me out of here!